More on editing

I continue to edit away at Kingmaker. Yes, that's right--I've reverted to the original working title for now. I'm about halfway done with converting it from first to third person and doing a pretty thorough reworking of a few plot points. Mostly, I'm afraid that my MC, Shale, comes across too unlikeably (she's supposed to be snarky and smart, but might come across as b*tchy instead), so I'm working on building empathy for her and making her relationship with Grey, the mysterious man dating her mother, a lot more believeable.

Also trying to decide whether to put quotes at the beginning of each chapter. I'm not sure whether that's a little kitchy, if you know what I mean. Still, I've found some good ones, like:

“If any of my competitors were drowning, I’d stick a hose in their mouth.”
-Ray Kroc, founder of McDonalds

and

“A slavish bondage to parents cramps every faculty of the mind.”
-Mary Shelley

And now back to editing.